If you’ve ever pondered “Why am I here?” or “What is my purpose?” this is why. You are not simply a human person living out this one life. You are the entire Universe, all space, dimensions and time funneled into an “itty bitty living space” (thanks Genie!). And so am I. That is who I am. I am the Universe, the Divine, God, Goddess, Nature, Gaia, Source, whatever name you tie to it, all wrapped up in the human form working to be in loving partnership with the human ego. And so are you.
So why am I here? This question has plagued me my entire life. I’ve explored it ad nauseam. It has been an ongoing obsession. It’s probably the thing that annoys my friends the most about me. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to answer it completely, but I’ll share with you what I’ve connected with so far.
As with so many of us on a determined spiritual path, I have undergone a lot of adversity in my life. Starting with abuse in childhood, carrying into a double life lived in addiction, showing up as major health problems, financial desolation, the destruction of relationships, planned suicide, sexual assault, losing jobs, and everything in between. As far as adversity goes, I seem to be an overachiever (as many of us on this path tend to be). This leads me to believe that overcoming adversity, building resistance, growing compassion and having my ass handed to me enough times to tap into this humility thing is a big part of why I’m here.
I have always had leadership abilities within me, right from the start. I reckon this is built into my mission.
No matter how much I try, I just cannot keep my mouth shut. I have a voice and am compelled to use it. Back in the day that meant sharing any thought or opinion that came into my mind - not so cool. It has transformed into a tool that helps me spread love, offer different perspectives, educate, advocate and challenge where necessary. Speaking out is part of the mission.
All this ass kicking has resulted in a surprisingly open heart allowing me to love unconditionally. I’ve met with people from different walks of life. I’ve held the hands of many perceived villains through their difficult times. I have created space for the hurting and the triumphant. I have listened to stories that would make most stomach turns. No one has been able to shock or offend me yet. I believe everything happens right when it is meant to, as it is meant to, and we all have a role to play. Being able to accept people where they are and as they are is definitely an ingredient in the big mission stew (vegetarian of course ;-P).
Being in the shadows doesn’t scare me. I know it is just as needed and beautiful as the light. There is work to be done in both. I joke that I spend so much time in the Underworld that they save a seat for me down there. Helping people investigate their shadows safely is part of my why.
All of this has resulted in me turning out to be pretty brave. The coolest part of being brave is that I have discovered I can lend out some of my courage to others when they need it. Teaching people to befriend fear, practice discomfort and be courageous is also part of the mission.
So, I can overcome adversity, lead, speak out, love unconditionally, safely guide people into (and out of) their shadows and help others be brave. This is why I am here. How that translates into “what I do” is a mystery unfolding as we speak (or as I type and you read).
That brings us to what gives me life. My happiest times in life involve creating a container for people to step productively into the Discomfort Zone so they can expand their personal freedom. This often looks like holding talks, facilitating workshops and leading retreats but can also look like one-time conversations on bus benches, chats yelled over blaring music on the dance floor or unplanned four-hour long coffees after a networking meeting.
Watching someone reach deeply into their Who and Why is the greatest honor I could ever imagine. Helping someone turn an I can’t into an I just did is about the most badass experience of all time. I love doing this in groups because it aligns with our human nature, and the combined energy of mutual intentions magnifies the efforts times a bazillion. I also do this one-on-one as well when my heart calls me to it.
Anything else I could tell you would just be a label, a box, a waste of time. As is true with each of us on this expansion journey, I am growing and shifting all the time. My Being never changes - what I’m doing with it never stays the same. So I’ll save us another round of un-branding and invite you to explore the rest, should you feel driven in that direction.