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How to Become a Witness of Your Own Life

mindfulness self love


A really important element in self-love is being able to use information about yourself to optimize your life.


Self-love is wonderful all on its own. It will change your life, your relationships, your finances, your desires, pretty much everything. If there is only ONE thing to invest in, I'd say self-love hands-down. 

As we discussed in an earlier post, a big part of self-love is knowing your Self. I always say "you can't love it if you don't know it, and you can't know it if you don't see it."

Becoming a witness to your own life is a crucial step on the path to self-love. 


What the hell does that mean, Jace?

I like to think of the part of me that witnesses my life like a passionate scientist. She observes and tracks everything about me (I say she to make writing about it easier, but I don't actually think it has a gender). She is fascinated by my every move, thought, desire, decision and behavior. She isn't attached to the outcome because it is separate from herself. Her job is to witness, that's it. If the scientist gets involved with the subject, the whole project goes under.

So how do you connect with the passionate scientist and observe yourself?

To start, all you need is your phone, one question and a few quiet moments.

It's as simple as 1, 2, 3:

  1. Set 3 reminders in your phone that will go off throughout the day. 

  2. Include in them this question, "What am I experiencing right now?"

  3. Pause for a few moments to check-in with yourself for the answer.

At first you may find that no answers emerge. That's OK. Continue the practice anyway. When the reminder goes off, step away from what you're doing, take a deep breath and ask yourself the question. Sit quietly for at least one minute simply watching/listening/feeling for what comes up. 

It's possible that this practice will feel uncomfortable for awhile. That's OK. It is understandable for things to feel unfamiliar when they are new. Feelings of discomfort are no reason not to do something. I encourage you to commit to it for the next 10 days with as little attachment to the outcome as possible.

It is just an experiment. And just like any good experiment, the results are always informative no matter what they are. 


Here are some phrases I use to help connect to my passionate scientist and stay objective to the observations:

  • Well that's fascinating!
  • Being a human is so weird.
  • Hmmm... I wonder why that's coming up?
  • This reaction makes sense given the circumstances.
  • I can't wait to see what comes from this!


In order to use information about yourself to optimize your life, you've got to collect information about yourself. So if you're up for it, put on your lab coat and get those reminders set in your phone right away. 

Remember, there is absolutely no way to love something if you don't know it, and you cannot know it if you don't see it.

Start practicing objectively observing today!



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