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Loss, Love and Liberation

fear guest post happiness personal story tribe Mar 05, 2021

Death had gotten a pretty bad rep over the years. We often think of it as the ultimate end, but in reality something in us is always dying. This is true on a cellular level in our bodies all the time (thank goodness!), and it is absolutely true on every level for those who walk the path of self-mastery. 

Today The illumitorium's very own tribe member Katie Rae, a magnificent woman courageously walking the path shares with us the death of her old view on dying and what has liberated her from a life of fear.

This too shall pass....


In 2021 I want to learn to look at loss in a beautiful and accepting way. I can't resist it because nothing in life is permanent and our life here on earth in this body will also come to an end. Accepting this reality will help set me free. I found a post on Pinterest which really spoke to me: It describes how a butterfly touches death in its metamorphosis, but then emerges even more beautiful after that experience. It lifts up the butterfly as a powerful reminder that the beauty of life that can come out of accepting change.


This post from Pinterest resonated with a butterfly experience of my own. A couple of years ago I found a beautiful one at the end of our driveway. It was no longer alive, but it was perfect and absolutely gorgeous and flawless. I brought it inside and keep it on a shelf in our house because it makes me smile thinking of this beautiful butterfly's life and it's perfect, remarkable looking wings. I want to celebrate and honor all life just like that- whether it's alive or has died. Death is a part of life, and accepting this is a freedom that I want to pursue in the coming year.



There are amazing people who have touched my life, who have now died. Their memories still live on inside of me, as well as in the hearts of many, many other lives they touched. I want to celebrate that—the beauty of their living and the difference their lives made on all whose paths crossed with theirs. Life is beautiful and surprising, with joys and victories and tragedies and unexpected endings. I'm going to celebrate all the beauty these other lives brought into the world, which wouldn't have existed otherwise.


Had my amazing grandparents not lived, I wouldn't be here. It is such a blessing and gift that I am here experiencing everything--just the fact that I'm alive in human form is a total miracle. Thinking about it gives me goosebumps because of all the many billions of things that had to happen in perfect timing in order to make my existence possible. There is so much beauty brought into this world by everyone we meet, even strangers we sit next to on a park bench or on a bus. These other people have made people smile, they have helped teach people how to love, how to be more understanding, how to forgive and how to celebrate life. They have had people walk alongside them in life and hold their hand, and they have done the same for others. We are all gifts and blessings for one another, even though we will all experience loss. 


Life is a blessing exactly as it is--right now. I want to celebrate and appreciate everything even though the loss will be inevitable and there will be pain and sadness. I don't want to miss out on the beauty and joy of life itself. 


If I went to the ocean it would be fun to build a beautiful sandcastle. I know it wouldn't last, but I would still enjoy it. My husband and I made a cute snowman this winter. It was a lot of fun doing this, but it fell over and melted that very same day. The impermanence of what we had done didn't take away from the joy of creating a work from the beauty of nature in that moment. 


I want to keep my heart wide open and love as much as possible my entire life. I will experience loss and sadness, but accepting love and loss is the path of a warrior. It is the bold, beautiful path I want to choose every day. To shy away from love would be to shy away from life itself. I want the richest, fullest, most beautiful and colorful life possible. I will celebrate the life around me and the love I experience. I will accept the loss and sadness that comes with loving deeply and recognize there is no other path I'd rather take.


I could avoid an open heart and loving many others as a way to shield myself from pain. but I know deep down in my soul that I would rather choose a beautiful life that is full of everything--the joy, the love, the pain and the sadness--and to accept it all as a part of life. If I subtracted pain, I would also be subtracting love, and that wouldn't be my best life at all. My best life is me opening up my heart and soul up to love and everything life has to offer. I know that loss and pain are going to be inevitable for us all, and I want to welcome this as a part of my absolute best, richest and fullest life. 

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