What is a boldly satisfying life? What does it look like for you? Traveling the world? Starting an urban farm? Running a Fortune 500 company? Raising a happy, healthy family? Feeling confident and empowered?
A boldly satisfying life may look a little different for each of us, but what it always translates to is FREEDOM. Freedom to live your life your way.
There is no set formula. In fact, very few truly seek the boldly satisfying life. If you're here, you're a rebel. You've chosen the path less traveled. It will be tougher and may take longer, but I guarantee it's worth it!
This blog is a collection of stories, tools and strategies to help you claim a life so satisfying it can only be called BOLD! They've worked for me and countless others - put them to work for you staring RIGHT NOW!
Do you ever have days when you just can't seem to focus? Times when your 100% isn't as powerful as you feel you need it to be? Periods of your life when you have so much you need to do, but you don't have the energy to begin let alone complete all of it?
Yeah, me too. In fact, I'm in one of those right now. I've gone through this often during and before recovery. In truth, I think everyone goes through something like this whether they are recovery from addiction, living with mental illness or simply moving through the human experience. I reckon it's all part of it; though, that doesn't seem to make it any easier.
These times are bound to happen. Sometimes they last for a day, sometimes a week, sometimes a seemingly endless season. Sure we can say "This too shall pass" and of course it will, but what about all that time in between when we are expected to continue showing up in the world?
Today I'll share with you the top three things I do during these times to help stay...
Back in 2016 I was traveling a lot for work. I remember one month when I took something like 2 dozen flights. It was nuts and fun and tiring. Either way, I had a lot of time to sit and to think on those planes. I recall one such trip when I was sitting near the back of the plane on the aisle seat. I felt so much stress and fear and anxiety in me that had built up over the years.
I was exhausted. I realized that so much of that came from the heavy weight I was carrying with me from the past. All of the things that had happened to me, the things I'd done. That which I had lost. The things I'd missed out on. How different my life was from what I had hoped. I felt like I could hardly move under all this weight. Any tiny thing that was added to it seemed like another 100lbs.
So on one this flight I decided to collect it all up. I closed...
"I would exercise more if I had the time."
"I don't have time for hobbies/vacation/fun."
"If I had the time I would work on my book/passion/invention/etc."
If you have, you are not alone. "I don't have enough time" is one of the first defenses people use for why they aren't taking the action they keep talking about.
The truth is, we all have the same amount. People who earn millions haven't figured out how to buy more of it. That super fit woman you see running each morning as you drive to work has 24 hours a day just like you and me. People who take vacations every year have 52 weeks just like the rest of us.
So what are these people doing differently? What secret have they discovered?
Wake Up Early
Even earlier than that...
I discovered a wondrous, magical world hidden in plain sight: the morning. I’m not talking about 8:00 in the morning....
This is one of the top questions I receive from people and for good reason. We live in a culture that teaches us that we're not good enough as we are. We come from generations that were taught to "power through", "toughen up", and "not air dirty laundry". We received the message that having and expressing emotions was impolite and weak.
::A quick note: This is universally changing. Just you seeking to develop self love is sign of that, and you're not alone. There is a massive energetic shift that is happening right now, and the time has come for a new way of living. This is a perfect time to focus on self love::
There is really one thing that gets in the way of most people's ability to love themselves. Efforts put towards anything else before this will not be totally wasted, but they are not going to get you the result you're looking for. I won't write a whole post teasing you about it only to reveal...
Going through life with mental illness is like running a marathon with an added 100lb weight on my back.
I don’t love the metaphor of life as a marathon, because that is really not how I see it, but it works for this analogy, so let’s go with it.
The marathon itself isn’t going to change just because I’ve got to lug this extra weight around. The mileage will still be the same. All of the rules remain in place. I am the one who has to adjust. Sometimes that makes me feel angry and frustrated.
Believe me, I get into the “It’s not fair!” mentality from time to time. And you know what? It’s NOT fair. But you know what else? The marathon still goes on and I still gotta run in it.
Here is where I get to make a choice.
I can stay in the “It’s not fair” mindset, yell at healthy runners as they go by, trip up those doing better than me, complain to the judges, seek sympathy from the bystanders....
Americans are weighed down by how easy it is to survive alone here. I know it brings many advantages with it, advantages others would surrender a lot for, but it brings intangible disadvantages with it as well. Take for example running water. We wash our hands, clothes, dishes, bodies, etc. in it daily. We have control over the temperature, pressure, frequency, etc. We can get it from multiple sources within and around the home - 7 easily accessible sources in my house alone. We take all of this as a given.
Can you imagine how most average Americans would respond if they had to walk outside of their house to get water? Hell, even if there was only one main facet right in the house to provide all of the inhabitants' water. Most people would be outraged by this. Yet, in other countries entire villages walk to the well and wait to get their rationed amount of water for the day or even week. They would lose...
When my partner and I began living together he inherited full grown dogs, and I inherited a growing garden - something I had always dreamed of. It isn't huge, and we certainly couldn't live off of its contents, but the act of nurturing it has taken its place in my daily routine. I thoroughly enjoy getting to help take care of the garden. It has given time and space to see and experience new things (well, new to me). It is a wonderful daily reminder
(I am pausing mid sentence as I write this because through the sounds of birds and barks and traffic I hear the soft melody of a flute. I've never heard it before while sitting on the back patio. I have to strain to hear it behind the rooster and garbage trucks... And just as quickly, it's gone...)
reminder of how there is so much more to the world than me and the goings-on of my life. It makes me think of how big the garden seems to the spider or how huge the yard seems to the baby frogs. Surely they think that is the whole...
Lots of people I talk to nowadays struggle to unplug from work. And no wonder considering that for most of us it's right at our fingertips day and night!
Work as an area of addiction is particularly tricky. In America it is celebrated when people sacrifice life, healthy, fun, happiness and family for work. Some companies even expect it
Considering all of the ways addiction showed up in my life, I can honestly say that WORK was the 2nd most dangerous. A lot of people are surprised to hear that when they know about my other areas like alcohol, but it had a hold on me that was incredibly destructive.
So you can imagine the immense anxiety I felt when I wasn't being productive or busy. I seriously felt like I lost my right to continue living if I wasn't being productive EVERY second of EVERY day.
I recall one holiday where I promised my boyfriend (at the time) that...
"When I get home from work, I am just too tired to write the novel I've been planning."
"The best time for me to workout is in the morning, but I've got to get the kids ready for school while my husband is at the gym."
"I try not to, but I always end up resenting my my wife for having to spend every Christmas with her family. What about my parents?"
"My boss demands too much of me. I'm getting burnt out and important details are falling through the cracks."
If you can relate to any of the sentiments above, I've got a killer tool for you to add to your kit!
A lot of people I work with come in feeling like they don't have the energy to do what they want to do to work towards their goals, dreams or purpose. They experience regular burnout at home and work. Their relationships are weighed down by resentment. They are exhausted and unsatisfied.
Why? They do not set...
I’m not famous. I haven’t climbed my way to the top of the proverbial ladder. I haven’t won any awards or been recognized among the Who’s Who. I thought to myself, “You should only begin to coach after you’ve become fully successful.” Successful. That is a term that has taken on different meaning for me throughout my life.
In the beginning getting up the guts to jump from the high dive was my idea of successful. However, I quickly found upon hitting the water that such a heroic act did not bring on feelings of success.
I was told that getting good grades while in school would lead to success, so I studied hard, did my homework, prepared thoroughly for tests and remained on the Honor Roll as I climbed to the summit of graduation.
Then I was told a high GPA wasn’t enough. I also needed to...